My partner is jet setting off to Abu Dhabi for a few days of business and I notice the familiar feeling of dread, worry and panic that I feel whenever there is a separation that involves aeroplanes. An ironic fear considering his occupation and the statistical unlikelihood. In an instant the vision I have for our future together could be shattered and I would have no idea what to do. The point is that it is okay to acknowledge a feeling, to feel it, accept it and love yourself through it while still supporting someone on their adventure as long as their journey is not breaking your own personal boundaries or limiting your freedoms (then there is a conversation to be had!) Otherwise it is not really living, it’s surviving and neither person is thriving. This has to be the premise for all healthy relationships between all people. Or at least, that is what I have come to believe. Whenever we part my final words are usually “be careful, take risks and have fun”. That sounds way more zen on paper than the chaos of the feelings themselves existing somewhere between chemical reactions and electrical neural transmissions. A few of the strategies my partner and I have developed to nurse ourselves through these situations of worry is to TALK about it. When we both have more information about what each of us needs in order to thrive in a situation it is much easier to put the fears to rest.
- “When is your flight scheduled to land?”
- “At what time should I be worried if I don’t hear from you?”
- “I understand that you are busy and you understand I worry about your safety. It would really help me not to worry so much if you could send me a message to let me know you are okay every now and then”.
Making simple requests and agreements that we can both keep really helps me and him to relax and enjoy the ride when one of us is traveling without the other. This can be adapted and applied to a multitude of situations, and I invite you all to use those strategies in whatever creative way to suit your own situation.