Everybody says that planning a wedding is a total nightmare – well the reality of it is – it doesn’t have to be. As soon as you mention the word engagement to people expectations start flying. That can be pretty overwhelming and as somebody who has been there I can tell you – you don’t need them! Just put them straight in the bin and do whatever you want anyway. Weddings come in all shapes and sizes and none of them are ‘better’ or ‘right’. They all just are.
I think it can feel daunting knowing that you have to put all that EFFORT in, but effort doesn’t necessarily have to be difficult. My partner and I have managed to keep our wedding game afloat while studying for my final exams and in the mist of a house move. All it really takes is support, communication, tolerance and team work.
In our team I’m the one who dreams the ideas, creates the mood-boards, does the research and hunts down most of the suppliers. Then I pass all the information over to my partner so he can do all the dirty work and actually get that stuff done – because I’ll avoid phone calls like the plague. If I ever speak to you on the phone – feel P R I V I L E D G E D. Having said that, my partner has dealt with some of the suppliers entirely on his own – especially over the last few weeks of my exam period. That was a MASSIVE help to me. So back each other up, talk to each other about things – especially if you DONT LIKE something and compensate when the other is having high stress levels and needs to dedicate time else where.
Okay so it is just like 6 weeks until our wedding. That’s 2 weeks until we are shut-out of our venues online planner and we still haven’t sorted some of our suppliers, looked at seating plans or written our vows – how are you okay with this or how do you think you got this under control?! Wedding myth 101 – deadlines make it easier for the suppliers to handle things. It’s convenient for our venue to have a month to look through our arrangements and make sure everything is in order. They are not going to tell us to sod off if we need to call them up a week later and change things – it is their job to handle that. Also a deadline means you have every second until that point to get stuff done. Having it all done 4 month early is fine but if thats stressing you out too much – slow down and enjoy the ride. It is also fine to finish 4 seconds before midnight. So if you’re in the mist of wedding planning and totally freaking out because your venue wants to know the 5th track you want played during your ceremony or how many tiers your cake is before you have even decided -IT’S FINE! YOU GOT THIS! AND THEY WILL JUST HAVE TO WAIT!
Think of it like construction. If you have all the foundations laid and the structural work is in and the budget is looking good – that house is going up. If you have a venue, a date, guests arriving and somebody to make that stuff legal – the wedding is going to happen ((but totally get insurance just incase it doesn’t!))
Most importantly – chuck that ideal of ‘perfection’ out the window right from day one. Perfection isn’t anybodies friend and it will drive you C R A Z Y if you feel like you constantly need to meet it’s high expectations. In fact – just throw all the expectations in the bin. You don’t need them. It’s much more fun without the restrictions of tradition or what other people think you should be doing.
I feel EXTREMELY honoured that some of our guests (close friends and family) are chipping into MAKE things for our day. One of my bridesmaids is making our cake, one of my mums is making our favours. My bridesmaids are going to do my hair and make-up. To me it doesn’t get any better than that – and NONE of those things have to be perfect. While I have every faith in my bridesmaids baking abilities (like seriously you don’t even know), if something goes off-plan and the cake falls apart before it arrives or leans slightly to one side we will display that cake with PRIDE because it was made with LOVE from somebody who LOVES us. That is far more valuable than perfection.
Also wedding planning can be a very long process. We booked our wedding only 6 months ago and in the scheme of things – we have done things pretty quickly. Some weddings are booked YEARS in advance. Your mind and dreams WILL change in that time and it is totally OKAY to change your mind on something no matter how big or small and no matter how many people you have already told about it at ANY POINT in the process.
Finally I’m going to end on something personal. I’m a massive bookworm and Harry Potter is a HUGE part of my love for life – it means something to me. My partner and I made our wedding invitations from SCRATCH! I was the brains behind the operation and designed them in photoshop. He did the manual labour and cut and folded each one – he even had the blisters to prove it! We packaged them in parchment envelops with feathers and an owl stamp and told our guests to watch out for their owls. Our guests LOVED them and most of them didn’t believe that we actually made them! We had people who we didn’t even invite telling us that they loved our invitations and that one of our guests showed them!